Letting Go is not Losing

The lives of those who have passed on can exert a powerful influence on our lives. It is often helpful — both to honor their memory and to remind ourselves — to offer a prayer of thanksgiving and surrender. Letting go is not the same as "losing" them; their memories and the gifts they gave us remain with us forever.

Passing Through

Without wanting to sound too "whoo-whoo" or strange, it is true that we can — unintentionally and with no ill will on either side — hold the dead so close to us that neither we nor they can move forward. Our acceptance of their passing is a gift of compassion.

Photo of a flower

On Letting Go by Deborah Beach Giordano

Remembrance and Release

They are with us, always,
the names,
the faces,
the laughter,
the tears,
the joys,
the sorrows;
the memories
of those whose lives
have intertwined
with ours;

like moths
drawn to a light
their souls
cluster
around us,
dwelling
in our minds,
encircling
our hearts,
swarming,
stinging,
grieving;

bound together
by history,
pain,
yearning,
and desire,
we have no peace,
no rest,
no relief.

As a deer longs
for a cooling stream,
so we long
for release
from the dreams
and desires
that ensnare us;
freedom
from the chains
we have forged
in thinking
and rethinking
and refusing
to let go.

Our tears
are not enough
to wash away the pain,
heal our hurts,
or eliminate our regrets;
and so we sigh
and struggle
as our heart’s blood pours out
in a never-ending stream.

Then one day we awaken
from our grief and misery
and ask ourselves,
Where is God in this?
Why does it hurt so much?
What do I truly believe?

Let us go forth,
and call upon the multitude:
the saints and angels
of all times and all places —
and upon God’s own self;
let us lift up our voices —
speaking fully and all
our praise and thanksgiving,
our anger, our sorrow, our doubt,

offering
and asking
freedom and relief
on this, this holy,
healing,
blessed
day.

Let the doors be opened,
the chains be broken,
the weights lifted from all souls;
let our eyes be opened
to the joy and grace
of this very day;
let our hearts be filled
with perfect Love
that redeems and renews
and restores all things.

And so it is,
and so we all shall be:
blessed, joy-filled, and free;
here and now,
yesterday and tomorrow,
forever and ever,
world without end.

Amen.